When we compare ourselves to others we feel lesser. But it is what makes you different that people will appreciate. Embrace what really makes you you.
A teenager sits alone, head down, hugging her knees. (Illustration by News Decoder)
This article, by high school student Mahee Mantri was produced out of News Decoder’s school partnership program. Mahee is a student at Vibgyor High, a News Decoder partner institution. Learn more about how News Decoder can work with your school.
I entered my teenage years in the era of COVID-19, when the world was facing a lot of changes. I also learned, faced and survived several changes of my own.
There were a lot of things that occurred at once: an online education platform, hitting puberty, gaining weight, growth of acne on my face. I started underestimating myself for several reasons, partly because of peer pressure and partly because of perceived competition.
You get into a dilemma where you look at other people and decide you aren’t as good. Even if you have the potential to reach a zenith, the competition you see out there makes you think you won’t be able to achieve it. That leads to feelings of insecurity and self doubt. You feel misunderstood. The list doesn’t stop there.
I have tried playing sports professionally and I am preparing for an exam called NEET — for National Eligibility cum Entrance Test, which is required in India for admission to an undergraduate medical course.
Both the fields are immensely competitive.
Sometimes, even I dive deep into the thought that am I not capable enough.
Life is what you make of it
I have come to realise that you aren’t born capable. You are born with the potential to become that capable. To use that potential, you have to believe in yourself. Your competition isn’t other people; it is the previous version of yourself.
Gradually, I grew up and started understanding certain aspects of life through different perspectives. When that happened things were never the same. I would like to share what I learned.
First, you don’t have to strive harder to come into someone’s good books. You don’t have to constantly try to fit into societal norms, just so you can call yourself normal or worthy enough to be a resident of your cultural surroundings.
Accept reality. Make your inner-child happy and satisfied rather than restricting yourself to societal expectations. That’s what matters the most at the end of the day.
Second, you enter your teenage period when you start facing competition among your age group. After comparing yourself to others, you will tend to undervalue yourself. Because of this, you try to mold your personality into such a container which conceals your originality. When you do that you lose touch with your inner self.
Embrace yourself.
Instead of molding your personality, try embracing yourself. By doing this, you polish your very own personality instead of trying to fit in to something that is not made for you. This world does not want your fake or made-up self but would appreciate that unique style of yours.
Third, in the world of diversions, find the direction that attracts you the most. To achieve greater things in life, you have to also apply and master the art of prioritising. Give your best in your forte and always strive for betterment.
At the same time, learn to express gratitude and be satisfied in your achievements. Try to appreciate your achievements no matter how small or big they might be.
Fourth, when it comes to your career, choose the path that excites you the most. And when I say the word ‘excite’, I don’t mean the income or profit you make from it but the work you do. If you just work for payment, the chances of enjoying your work will be less. As entrepreneur Alex Hormozi once said: ‘A focused fool can accomplish more than a distracted genius’.
A focused fool is someone who may not have the inbuilt talent of something, but enough hunger and persistence to make that person capable enough to achieve it.
Reach your potential.
Even if you are born with the true potential to do something, but you do not leave your comfort zone to try it out, you will never be able to convert your dreams to reality.
In order to achieve something, don’t look at the competition you have. Your only goal should be your dream and the ladder which you have to climb to achieve your ambition.
So you need to decide whether you have to channel your intelligence and wits. Education is the greatest jewel a person can have. It is also the only thing that cannot be stolen or taken away from you.
Lastly, YOLO — You Only Live Once! When you look into the mirror, take a deep breath. Feel proud about yourself. You survived every challenge you have faced so far.
At last, be blessed enough to breathe further!
Questions to consider:
1. Why do people tend to compare themselves to others?
2. What challenges have you faced in your life?
3. What is one thing that you do well?
Mahee Mantri Is in the 11th grade at Vibgyor High in Kolhapur, India where she studies physics, chemistry and biology. Mahee is passionate about writing, badminton and dance.